Since you all did so well on the "don't forget to pack...." post I've decided y'all would love to participate in "don't forget to ask the caregivers....."
What questions did you ask at the orphanage on your first trip? Or what questions do you wish you would have asked? If you haven't traveled yet, what's on your list of things to ask?
I know on Trip 2 I need to ask questions about the Peanut's schedule, food, etc... but do I need to ask that on Trip 1? Tomorrow I'll be digging through the cobwebs and pulling out all of the lists I have, but right now, at 1:15 am, group participation sounds good to me! :-)
Today was a nutty day - had a miscommunication with my social worker so we didn't get a chance to meet to finalize the home study update, went to the doctor and got prescriptions for travel meds, bought an awesome backpack to carry all of our photography/camcorder/laptop stuff in and bought a comfy pair of Merrell shoes that will go perfectly with jeans, khakis, black pants, etc...
Tomorrows plan is to meet my sister in the morning and go in search of a few pairs of short people pants. I'm 5'2" and what a pain in the neck it is to find comfortable, non-old lady looking pants that don't need to be hemmed. Worst case scenario, I'm armed with my hem tape for some quick hemming. Tomorrow I'll also be gathering all of the papers we need to bring, photocopying visas, sending off itineraries and all of that good stuff!
In between my homestudy appt and dr appt I had my first "oh my goodness this is really happening" anxiety attack. I was driving along and it just hit me like a freight train. Chest tightened and I had to remind myself to chill out. What's the best way to chill out? A pedicure. I swear I almost fell asleep I was so relaxed!
Alright - this is enough of a random post. I think I'll go to bed now so that I'm not a royal you-know-what tomorrow!
Toodles!
Becky
18 comments:
Soooo excited for you!
The questions I have are more for trip 2, but I'll chime in:
Ask about firsts--sitting up, word, step (good for future ref and for developmental milestone markers)(HEY--that's a good trip 1 question.)
How does peanut act when tired/sick/frightened and what soothes?
Ask if you can videotape a caregiver reciting a fingerplay/singing a song, etc. Great for comfort now and to look back on in years to come.
Becky, Hang in there everything is going to go great. All you really need on trip one is a passport, visa and the clothes you are wearing. It will go so quickly you'll think -- was I already there a week. For your first visit, I would concentrate on asking the medical questions or anything that will help you make a decision about whether or not you will accept the referral. I actually took a list of questions and asked them at the same ones at the first and second visit -- they did change a bit from the first to the second visit, too. I can also send you a list of questions -- they are also on my blog. I am sure that you have it because I think your adoption file must be an entire filing cabinet, you are so prepared!
We also concentrated on medical on trip one. Also you may want to ask depnding on age if they brush their teeth yet, and if he/she sleeps in a crib or toddler bed. Hang in there - you'll do fine!
Ask if the baby is attached to a specific caregiver, or has any specific friend that peanut is close to - that will give you an idea on attachment.
Also, One thing I did was sing one song to Dmitry (Jesus Loves Me) when we were together, on every visit in the baby home, he may not have remembered me by sight but he remembered the song and it was special. I sing it to him at bedtime now, and it's soothing. Our daycare provider sang it to him one day and he said "nyet Mama song". :o)
No advice here because we haven't been yet either...just wanted to chime in with ONLY 9 DAYS!!! SINGLE DIGITS!!!! YAY!!!!
HI - I have an awesome list in english and russian I will email you, I just have to figure out what computer it is on. ENjoy shopping.
I just emailed you a list in English and Russian that My friends and I put together when we were going through it. I tried to post it on FRUA, but came out wrong.
Simon says:
Are those suitcases laid out on loveseat? Are you putting stuff in? Checking off list? Get cracking! Leave any pants to hem out, call me with color & I'll bring thread & hem when I get there. No tape. Stop procrastinating. Trip is here. Make me proud. I know you can do it. Love, Mom
Hi Becky! We are so excited for you all! I don't have too much advice on the questions as I need to start finding my list soon, but 1 question I always remembered was, "Does the child have any siblings"? because I would be curious about that.
Well good luck with your packing!! You did start packing now, right!!??All the Best...Teresa
Hi Becky,
On Trip 1 we focused on the medical and developmental info. I remember Dr. Togoyev asking the caregiver if Diego knew patty-cake or other skills, so he could do his assessment based on the Denver test - by the way, she said he knew patty-cake (I guess the Russian version), but Diego is still learning how to clap! Instead of asking the caregivers about any special attachment to any of them, we tried to look very closely every time a caregiver stopped by, how they would bring him to us every day and how they would take him from us (if they smiled at him, how their voice sounded when they talked to him, etc). We would also look if Diego looked at them, if he was sort of happy to seem them, etc...
I can't believe you are THIS CLOSE to traveling. So have you started packing yet? I don't have a list of things made out yet but I remember reading (and other responses have mentioned it) that this is your time to find out as much medical info as possible about your little one. I am so excited for you. Have fun shopping.
The one question I wished I had asked and forgot too...."Who gave my child her name?" We kept her first name as her middle name and I really regret I didn't ask that question.
Also ask the social worker or director if you can get a photo of either birth parents or siblings. Everyone in Russia has to have a passport with them at all times, like our drivers licenses here, so chances are someone may have a copy of their russian passport page in the documents. We were able to get a copy of both birth parents. They are not the best copies but it's sure great to have.
Try to get photos of special places as soon as you can...bed, playroom, etc. I thought I would be able to get a photo of her crib the last day we were there but they had babies sleeping so they wouldn't let us into the room to take the photo. :-(
Ask if the caregivers have any older photos of your child that you can have or even borrow to make copies. We were able to get a 6 month old photo of our daughter, that I'm very happy to have.
Leave a disposable camera for the caregivers to take photos...we got some great photos of Emily with other friends, caregivers, even dressed up in Russian costumes that I'm grateful to have.
Ask the caregivers if your child has any allergies to any foods. And on trip 2 make sure you get a copy of their immunization record so you don't have to revaccinate all over again.
Also leave a photo album of you and hubby for your child. I swear that's why she wasn't freaked out about us when we returned. And she still likes to look through that book.
I don't have anything additional to add on questions but after we got our referral I went onto the database and copied the color photo of Artem. It's the youngest "baby" picture I have of him.
Yay Becky! Im so excited for you!!! Its almost here!!!
One thing I wish I would have asked is if there were grandparents, aunts, uncles, family members who had been contacted about adopting the child, or if they knew of the child etc, questions regarding the birthfamily histoy, health etc.
No matter how long your list of questions is, you probably won't have them all answered, and you will think of more.Definatelytake your list with you! We forgot ours and when the day came we were so enamored with the little one and the business of meeting everyone, our brains turned to mush! Good luck and God Bless your journey!
Happy Mother's day! Just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you ... and as for waiting to pack... well look at it this way .. you really don't need anything else but you & Keith... the rest of the stuff is just extras.. you're on your way to meet your child! But please don't forget your laptop! I'd like to hear from you while your in Russia! HUGS!
MandyJO
Hey girl. So excited you are so close to leaving for Russia. As for questions...
1. Whether or not your child has had chicken pox or TB. The chicken pox helps the doctor determine whether or not they need the immunization once home.
2. Ask about first accomplishments (walking, tooth, etc.) if they have them.
3. Anything they know concerning the child's background before coming to the baby home. If they spent time with parents, were they burned, etc. This doesn't pertain to most (our daughter was given up at birth), but I know the ones it does it is helpful to have this information (in case they are scared of items once home...fire, smoke detectors, etc.).
4. Do they rock themselves to sleep? Do they listen to music? Our little one still rocks herself and will shake her head from side to side.
You will feel rushed on trip 2, so try to get as much on trip 1 as possible. Stick to Medical first to help make your decision. Once you have those questions answered, start asking all the ones you want to know. It is amazing how much you will forget to ask on trip 2 since you are just wanting to see your child and bring him home!
Safe travels and lots of love coming your way!
When you get your list forward it to me! I am so excited for you! I can not wait to read about your journey while you are in Russia!
Totally forgot to compile a list before I left; something about a video camcorder! hehehe- thanks for asking this questions! ;o)
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