A downer kind of week

A few updates on the adoption front... have two more documents collected and notarized, just need to get them apostilled and then we're waiting on one more! I think that one of the hardest parts about adoption is all of the worrying. It's a constant worry of "did i do this document right?" "will it be rejected?" "will the Russians reject us?" "do we qualify for adoption based on their criteria?" (which is much different than you would think) "will they figure out that I'm really, really close to being certifiable and if I'm not, I surely will be after this process is over?" Boy, oh boy... it sure is waring on the nerves. God Bless my husband for being the calm, cool and collect one. HE may wind up being certifiable after having to deal with me all of these months! :-)

I'm a pessimist at heart. I always expect the worse so that I can be overjoyed when something good happens or prepared when something bad happens. Yesterday I let myself be optimistic about our last document and low and behold it didn't go the way I expected it to and BAM. Right down on my butt I landed! So... so much for that optimism stuff... it's for the birds. We need lots of prayers, well wishes, thoughts and anything else you can think of to get through this last hurdle. Heck, if you're near one of those fountains where you throw a penny in and make a wish - that wouldn't hurt either!

We watched the 2nd DVD in the "Because They Waited" set. It was about the met and unmet need of the child. The basic jist is that a child has a need and if that need is met, the child sees it as a positive response and grows developmentally, emotionally, etc... Example: a newborn has a need - he is hungry. He responds by crying. The primary caregiver swoops in and feeds the baby. In turn, the baby's need was met immediately offering comfort, warmth and emotional support. Now, using that same example, if the baby is hungry and begins to cry and no one meets that need, ultimately the baby will stop reacting when he is hungry. That leads to delayed motor skills, emotional issues, and so on.

Well, as you can imagine, in orphanages there are many, many children and not as many caretakers. (In one baby home in Vlad, there are 3 - 4 babies per crib (that includes 2 year olds!) They don't have a "primary caregiver" that responds to their every waking need. The "unmet need" causes the children to be delayed. The rule of thumb is for every 3 months in the orphanage, a child is behind 1 month. I'm reading about some families now that have only been with their children for a few days and they are amazed to see the immediate "growth". They smile more, react more favorably and are growing like weeds emotionally. It's so exciting to watch the difference people can make in a child's life.

Also on this dvd was the importance of a child having a "primary caregiver". They discouraged daycare or preschool and encourage you, as parents, to figure out a way to remain the primary caregiver. Unfortunately, not using daycare isn't an option for us. Not now anyway! I can't begin to explain the guilt I felt after watching that video, but I guess the purpose of it is to help you understand that you may be faced with more delays if you can't stay home past your leave from work. I could go on and on about this, but I'm starting to feel guilty again, so time to switch subjects!

I believe it is worth it to mention that I scored a 100% on my test on DVD #2 and Keith got an 81%. Let me tell you! The bragging on his end stopped quickly and I geared up to brag quite a bit! Two more DVDs left and I'm in the lead. By the way, for the record, Keith insisted on a competition, not me. :-)

That's all for now...
Becky

P.S. A very special thanks to Rachel and Mandy for being my sounding board yesterday. Sometimes I just need to rattle on and on and on and they, unfortunately, got the brunt of it! Thanks, girls!