Some agencies were accredited on 11/22 (congrats to those in that batch!). Was ours one? Ummm... nope! I'm tired, mad, sad, frustrated, irritated, confused and annoyed (just to name a mere few of the emotions I'm going through right now). There were supposed to be 12 US agencies and there were 4. Who knows what will happen with the other 8. If I hear "2 more weeks" in regards to another batch of accreditation I think I might go postal. I hate "2 more weeks". It's kind of like the 2 week wait when you're trying to get pregnant. Nothing good comes from "2 more weeks" - at least not when it comes to me and having a child.
I was so down and out after seeing the list and have promised myself I will not get excited about each bit of rumored good news. I need to be guarded. No more big ups until when/if/ever this accreditation mess gets resolved.
So then I come home to a big box. What is it, you ask? It's the freaking truck bedding for the little Peanut. So what happened, you ask? I started to get excited again.
A girl just can't win for losing sometimes.
*** edited to add:
The reaccredited agencies on the 22nd of November are:
315. Alliance for children (USA)
316. Wide Horizons for Children (USA)
317. VZW Adoptiedinst HORIZON (Belgium)
318. Nuova genitori insieme di associazione per l'adozione (Italy)
319. Atid Haieladim (Israel)
320. Life Adoption Services (USA)
321. Tzivos Hashem (Canada)
322. Adoption Horizons Inc. (Canada)
323. Happy Families International Center (USA)
26 comments:
Keep hoping. I know the downs hurt and there will likely be more before it is all over. When you focus on a fixed point everything between you and the point of focus blurs. That is what happens as soon as you get your referral. The pains of wating that are so clear right now will blur and soften until your joy in your child pushes them out of your memory entirely. Thinking of you today Becky!
Okay, you know how we are big on signs, right? Well I think the delivery that you recieved today is a huge one, mainly to hang in there....
With that being said, here are a few quotes to keep in mind...
“All human wisdom is summed up in two words - wait and hope”
"Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience."
AND..
Last but not least,
"All good things come to he who waits."
Love you!
Becky,
I did not know that other agencies got their accreditation. I am with CHI as well.
Was the bedding as cool as the picture??
Well said, Alicia & Mandy. I couldn't have said it better ...
The Vietnam adoption process has been incredibly slow lately and there's been a lot of tslk about things that are going on currentlky with other agencies that may or may not have an impact on future adoptions, as well as changes in I-600 procedures. So I understand your frustration. I'm feeling it too. I think we all are.
This wait must be killing everyone in the accreditation mess. I am praying like always for more agencies to get it asap.
My agency wasn't on the list either (I wasn't expecting them to be) so I know how you feel. And like I tell my family...this accredition stuff is WORSE then trying to get pregnant. At least when you are trying to get pregnant you know you have to wait a whole month before getting your hopes up again...with this accreditation everyday you get your hopes up that today may be the day.
Hang in there. Our time will come and it will make it that much more special. (I keep telling myself that)
I'm with you - 2 more weeks, 2 more weeks. How long have we heard that? Know you are not alone in all your feelings....
I am so sorry! Thankfully, you are processing in a region that is allowing your agency to proceed without accredidation, right? (I think that's correct- forgive me if I'm wrong). So know that regardless of that signed piece of paper (that, sure, will make things easier on everyone), God is still getting you to Peanut!!
{{{{{{Major Cyber Hugs}}}}}}
I know how hard this is on you. I wish I could make it better for you. Remember January/Febuary is the goal. It can still happen.
I'll be home soon and give you the hug in person, I promise.
Becky- You took the words right out of my mouth. I am so.....all of those feelings you mentioned. Frustrated, sad, confused.... Chris and I were discussing this whole thing after I read your post. I really need to pray about direction. Know that I completely understand and empathize! I dare not even wonder if it will be two more weeks.... UGH!
Becky, I had so many of these same feelings while waiting for our court date. I kept being told "we should know something Friday" and week after week Friday came and went with no news. The ups and downs were so extreme and so hurtful. I am so sorry the reaccredidation is taking so incredibly long. Everyone who's posted is so right though. The waiting time becomes a distant dream when you get your referral, when you get those travel dates, and when you get that court date. I am so glad the bedding came in at just the right moment to give you that little bit of hope and remind you that this sweet little boy of yours IS real and IS going to sleep in your house in his very own room. It's just not time yet. We were told this so often going through our miscarriages, and though I hated hearing it, I do believe all of the waiting for Owen was for a good reason. He is absolutely the child we were supposed to be given and is such a blessing in every way. Your child is in Russia, and he will be the most special gift you've ever been given. Keep in mind your special gift is coming and will come to you at just the right time. I pray the reaccredidation happens very very soon so you can be one step closer to that beautiful little boy.
Love,
Adrienne
I'm glad my inteded message came through. Your compliment is kind but I have never prized myself on being good with written conveyance of my feelings. You are so
precious to me even though we are only friends through blogland and shared suffering. I want to uphold your heart anyway I can: words, prayers, etc. Thank you
for your compliments on Dima too. I love to hear them! YEAH GOD!
Sincerely,
alicia
I understand your feelings but I also read on FRUA this morning that someone's agency that was supposed to be in this batch received a call saying they will get theirs next week. Keep holding on.
I'm glad the bedding helped pick you up a little fromt he slump.
The wait and promises that don't come to fruition is the absolute worst part of this process. The only thing that I could hold on to in my 2.5 year wait was the fact that I would have children when this finally came to an end; I might have been pushing a walker across Siberia, but it would happen! Chin up, keep focusing on the prize!
I can totally understand your frustration. Keep your focus, your child will come on His time.
yep. we were supposed to be in that batch, too, and weren't. i'm not hearing "two more weeks". i'm hearing "really soon". it probably means the same thing...
Hi Becky. Better late than never right. Sorry I am just now reading this post. I have been keeping my distance a little this week after we found out that only one more couple would receive their court date prior to Christmas. It kinda took the wind out of my sails too. I guess I was so hoping and praying that we would travel before Christmas. My dad kept our hopes up for quick travels which made it hard when we had to announce to our parents that it would be the first of the year.
It is never hard to wait. You have been waiting longer than we have, so we know you must have incredible strength. It is amazing how hard the adoption process is on each of us. I'm glad you were given a gift of comfort (the bedding) to help ease the frustration you were feeling on waiting for Peanut. May God continue to work miracles and provide where we struggle.
Thanks for the info from FRUA. Yes, another disappointment. When is two weeks ever going to end?
I'm feeling somewhat better today. I think everything going on has been mixing with my hormones and right now that mix can be really volatile. I hope you get some good news soon. I'm confused, I thought Russian adoptions were going on in Russia through CHI, but if they are not accredited, are they or aren't they? Keeping my fingers crossed that we both have some good new; I think we need some to get us out of this funk!
I think I can help with this one...
Last year at this time I was waiting for CHI accredidation, in fact just yesterday I was reading my journal from last year dated 11/26 and it sounded so much like your post.
What I am trying to say is here I am a year later with my child at home. It will work out. I remember having Max's picture and them telling me I couldn't travel until they were accredited (which was supposed to be the end of Nov 06)- this was 3 days AFTER I got my referral. It ruined my Thanksgiving and Christmas. Every moment I was on FRUA watching to see if CHI was going to get re-accredited.
Have hope- I hate that anyone has to go through the difficult emotions of adoption but in the end the reward is so worth every heartbreaking day! Talk about a leap of faith.
Take a day away from the news and rumors and just take time to focus on what you can control and reconnect with the family you have now (I wish I did more of that then) Go do something really off the wall. Cliff took me to Memphis last year and we stayed at the Heatbreak Hotel- and hung out downtown and toured Graceland. It was sooo cheeeeezzzzyyy! It was great because it was something I would have never done or even thought of doing and it was just was fun. Going away and doing something crazy really took my mind off of things- or at least made me smile again.
I am thinking about you!
Hoping you get some news! The waiting can be torture.
God Bless.
I'm so sorry. I'm in the same boat you are and am just so disappointed and frustrated. We're in the process of making some very big decisions regarding our adoption; so sorry it came to this.
Sending big hugs your way!
Hoping you hear something soon. I'm so sorry for your long wait. Waiting just stinks.
Becky - I posted a blog featuring IV yesterday go check it out and maybe it will make you smile! I wish I knew what to say about the accreditation & the slow wait times. I just have to pray that everything will work out. I know that for me I'm frustrated w/ having a job that won't possibly let me start my adoption due to the fact that I don't make enough money and then to top it all off I've been looking for something else and have been unable to find something. I pray that the right things will come together for you as I pray that they will come together for me too! Blessings & Prayers - Mandy
Oh Becky, I'm sorry. This uncertainity is really unfair. What a hard place to be in..stay or switch.
I'm hoping whichever path you choose you can feel at peace with. I do believe in signs too and I think the fact you received your bedding the sameday is confirmation that your child is out there and that he will come home regardless of which agency you are with.
It might not hurt to just make some calls to some of of the accrediated agencies that are highly recommended on FRUA, explain your situation if you were to switch and ask what would be your wait time with them. At least you could have some answers of some kind and then know if you really want to switch or just wait it out. Just an idea.
Take care Becky!
Kids, I read your blog and all of the people's comments, and they are all true. Even so, waiting can be so difficult, but no one ever said it was easy. Thinking back, I remember the wait for Keith, the weeks they thought he was dead in me, and the overwheming joy when they heard heartbeat& then the long wait until he arrived, healthy and beautiful. The 2 weeks, the 2 weeks, the 2 weeks are just a blink in the lifetime you & Keith will be loving our peanut. Waiting is always hardest when you let yourself concentrate solely on that one thing. Suggestion, put it God's hands, relax and do all the things you won't be able to do for awhile when peanut comes.God gave you a sign that all is in hand, He sent the bed on the exact day He knew you would be the lowest. Faith is not something you can see or touch, you just BELIEVE. Don't doubt, remember our time is not God's time. (And I have spoken to several people who are very familiar with the Russian government...THEY ARE SLOW, SLOW, SLOW). He has His plan, and peanut will be yours. Just relax and trust in Him and yourselves. No way could there be better parents than you two. Love you. Grandma C
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