The Paper Pregnancy FAQ

First, let me say thank you to everyone that emailed and called! We have yet to tell anyone that hasn't been happy for us, whereas, that was my biggest fear!

I've decided to make this post an FAQ kind-of-post. I'll cover the basic questions I've gotten about international adoption and about our decision to adopt in general.

Why international adoption? Why not domestic?

We decided to go with international adoption for a few reasons. I had researched both and was scared to death of domestic adoption. Most domestic adoptions are "open" adoptions. What this means is that the birth mother/parents choose you from the scrapbook you create for them. You have full contact with the birth parents throughout the pregnancy. Each state has their own rules and in most there is a time period in which the birth parents can change their mind. In Georgia, it is 14 days from the day the baby is born and I believe, in Colorado, it is 30 days. That is too much of an unknown for me. The other major reason we decided against domestic is because in an open adoption you keep in contact to the birth parents throughout the life of the child. To put it bluntly, I just don't want to share. I apologize if my reasoning offends anyone... it's just how I feel. There are so many arguments for domestic adoption as well.

Why Russia?

We researched a few countries - Guatemala, Columbia, Kazakhstan and Russia. We decided on Russia because we knew we wanted a boy, we had some friends that have adopted from there with great success and because we could break our visits to Russia into two trips vs. having to spend a month in country.

Do you get to pick your little peanut?

No, we do not. The Russia government reviews our hoards of paperwork and matches us with a child. This is called a referral. We can expect a referral for the little peanut about 4 - 8 months after our paperwork is submitted (provided nothing changes in policy, procedures or law).

What happens after the referral?

Along with your referral, you receive an invitation to meet your peanut. That travel date can be as little as 2 - 3 days afterwards or months. I've read about both happening. We make our first trip to meet our referral and that is about one week long. We are introduced to him and have him reviewed by our own doctor in-country and we send video/photos to our international adoption (IA) doctor back in Atlanta. We get as much medical information they can find on the peanut and send that as well. We are allowed to spend about 2 hours a day with him and have to formally apply to adopt that child if we believe he is healthy.

What defines healthy?

Healthy is a child with "none or minor correctable issues". Most children have something wrong with them on their medical records. The trick is to determine fact from fiction, thus, the multiple doctors. We need to look for things like fetal alcohol syndrome, severe development delays, etc.... A little fact for you: For every 1 month a child is in an orphanage, he/she is 3 months behind developmentally. Interesting, isn't it?

What happens after you've officially accepted your referral and submitted your petition to adopt?

Now comes the hard part.... I probably cry and throw some hissy fits because we have to leave - without the peanut. We are sent back home for 2-4 months while Russia reviews our paperwork, takes care of everything on their side and then sends us a court date. During that time, the peanut stays at the orphanage and we bustle around here baby proofing, setting up his room, making alternate plans for work, etc...

So there are two trips?

Yes, the first trip is about 7 days and the second trip is 10 - 21 days depending on whether or not the court waives the 10 day waiting period.

Where in Russia are you adopting from?

We don't know yet. Once our dossier (the load of paperwork) is ready, we'll work with our agency to determine what regions have a long wait time, plenty of boys, are processing adoptions, etc...

How much is this going to cost?

Too much! :-) A rough estimate would be about $25 - $30,000, which includes travel. If you adopt 2 children at once you get a discount on the second. For all of you shoppers, it's like a buy one, get one half off sale. :-) We are only adopting one child right now, but hope to eventually adopt a second.

Where are you in the process?

We are required to complete the following prior to being able to send our paperwork to Russia:

• home study (3 meetings with a social worker who will write up a case and submit it to the state)
• USCIS (Homeland Security) has to approve our petition to adopt orphans
• all of the paperwork required by Russia needs to be completed (notarized and apostilled)

We have completed 1 home study meeting (other 2 will be done by April 20th), are being fingerprinted by the FBI on May 1st for our USCIS approval and have started the paperwork required by Russia. The USCIS approval is what takes the longest - probably about 60 - 90 days from the time the home study and fingerprinting is submitted. We will most likely send our paperwork to Russia September-ish.

Well... I think that is about all for now! I hope this wasn't too much information overload.

Hugs -

Becky