Chooooo Chooooooo!!!! Chugga, Chugga, Chugga, Chugga Chooooo Chooooooo!!!!!!
Why that sounds like a train? It sounds like the super mega fast train to Adoption land! Oh wait…. The train is leaving the station! Oh no! We’ve missed the train!!! And sadly, the super mega fast train to Adoption land won’t be coming back any time soon.
Well, kids, I’m here to inform you that it looks like the quick referral streak our agency has been experiencing in the Moscow region has come to a screeching halt. It appears there are a lack of referrals and more agencies submitting dossiers for those referrals. The short of it is, while we were so close, so very, very close to being on that train, we seem to have missed it. Everything happens for a reason, right?
What’s next? Great question! We wait. Have I ever mentioned that this process is NOT for the faint at heart? :-) I promise you, it’s not. You have to truly WANT to have a child to ride on this roller coaster ride month after month.
We don’t anticipate any kind of referral or travel before May, and it will be May at the absolute earliest. Then we run into the summer vacation slow downs. Thankfully April is a busy month for our family – Alex has spring break, my sister’s birthday, my birthday, Alex will start year round swimming, etc… so it should go by rather quickly. I will also have a busy work month so it will all work out. Focusing on the positive, it means we no longer have to worry about whether or not Alex will be in the middle of finals when we go on our 3rd trip. (Now we have to worry about whether or not he’ll be starting school back up! HA!).
Am I sad? Of course I am. Am I giving up? Nope. Do I know that some day we’ll end up meeting our son? Absolutely. Can I handle the ups and downs of this process much longer? Ummm… stay tuned and we’ll see how much more I can handle! Will I continue to get excited at the prospect of traveling? Heck no. I will not be excited until I am looking at the invitation to travel.
I do just want to say that our agency has been awesome throughout this. They truly feel bad that we missed the train and are doing everything possible to help us. They have been so completely open and honest with us - I can’t ask for anything more. There is nothing worse than going through this with false hope because any hope you have needs to be real so you can hang on to it!
See – it wasn’t a depressing post! It is what it is and Keith and I have so much to already be thankful for. Now, if only I could justify a tropical vacation of some kind right now… :-)
31 comments:
I'm so sorry to hear about the slowdown with your agency. I'm glad your agency has been honest and told you up front. From talking to CHI today, referrals are still coming in slowly and there are many families still waiting 2+ years. I think Russian referrals will continue to trickle and not happen as quickly as it did before all the accreditation began a few years ago. I commend you for being so strong through it all. After seeing a pic of Rachel's little one in Moscow and the resemblence to Troy, I do believe it is all for a reason and that God has a perfect little boy selected that takes all the hiccups to get him to be your referral.
You are in our thoughts and prayers. Call anytime...I'd love to talk and catch up.
I am so sorry that you didn't get the news you wanted. I know this must be really hard. Hang in there. I am still praying for a miracle for you! Good luck and know that I am thinking of you and praying for you.
I like your way of thinking Becky. We DO want our babies bad and we DO know that we will soon get them. It helps so much that all of us are supporting each other during our wait time...it makes it a little easier. Your time will come Becky, like you said, it all happens for a reason and your little peanut will be SOOOOO worth it in the end.
Renae and Joe
Becky, I'm so sorry. I wasn't expecting this news. I too am glad your agency is very upfront and that says a lot, esp when the news is not pleasant. I'm still keeping faith and hope that you will hear much sooner than is currently expected.
I am really impressed with your attitude with the wait, I was a complete mess! The one thing that is certain with this process is that you will bring home a child, it may not be tomorrow (like we all would like it to be), but you will have a child to call your own. Glad that you have lots to keep you busy through it all.
Grr, I feel so bad for you right now. I do know that there is lots to do during the wait and the time will fly by. Stay in touch with C and things will work out faster than you think. Best..
You can handle it...because you have a great attitude! And really, our attitudes are the.only.thing. in this process we have any control over.
Becky - You are proof adoption is not for the faint of heart and you have to believe this is all happening for a reason. It is and I know it is hard to not lose faith as I have been down that road. I think May would be a beautiful time to travel as I was told that the in the end of April on that Moscow is filled with beautiful flowers. Imagine the great clothes you can wear and fit more into your suitcase since they are lighter than winter clothes and all the pictures you will have with flowers and warmth and go with it. Keep us updated and call anytime!
Hi Becky,
I was hoping so much for so much better news for you today. But, I believe that the little one meant to be with you is just taking a little longer to come to you. I think that tropical vacation sounds like a great idea! - Once we get our little ones, we won't have too much time to relax!
I am so sorry to hear about the slow down. I know there is a child meant for you.
You are in prayers.
Myra
I am so sorry to hear about that. We've noticed a slow-down also, although we expected it as we are seeking a daughter. But ya never know what could happen tomorrow!! I am glad you have a busy month ahead! May will be here before you know it and I'm sure you'll at least know something more by then. :o)
So sorry to hear about this delay. I know you are disappointed. It's amazing how quickly things can change in the Russian adoption world, and it's very frustrating.
At least you will have MUCH nicer weather when you do travel!
I agree, our agency is awesome, and they do everything they can. I'll be praying that the time goes by quickly for you.
We are in the same "waiting boat". Except we are expecting from Perm, Russia. I know Exactly how you feel right now.
Good luck to you. Hang in there (like I am).
Lita
Hadn't thought about the weather! Thats definitely going to be the upside of all this!! And it will make packing much much easier. Big hugs to you...and you can borrow my munchkin anytime. Now that he gives hugs and kisses he's just the sweetest little thing. I really need to capture that on video...hmmm how to work the video camera?
Becky, I'm sorry to hear the news of the slowdown. I wish there were some magical words I could say to you and make the heartache all go away.
You can call anytime if Keith gets tired of you venting to him. I'll listen about the slowdown and you can listen to me complain about officer Torres. Deal?
We will be praying for the right timing and a referral as soon as possible. If you look at this from another point of view, it just means that there aren't as many children in need of parents at the moment, which is a really good thing. Be sure though that there will soon be a child waiting who needs *You* as their parents!
I just knew when I saw a post about a train that you were going to write about traveling. Don't give up. The process is difficult -- I agree. I also agree with all those that have already written; There is a perfect plan that we really do not understand. I will be praying that you expereince some peace in the midst of your storm. A tropical vactation might just be the ticket you need!
Wendy
Once you meet your child all of this will make sense. You have such a strong faith and a good attitude. I know that while your head can tell you to keep the good attitude, the heart has a harder time so I am just praying for endurance for you. Keep the faith and know that everything does happen for a reason and the big picture will one day be revealed.
Becky -
I just want you to know that even though I don't have any magical words of wisdom. That I'm thinking about you and your family and you are all in my prayers. I sometime hate hearing the phrase that we are all right where we are suppose to be; because I just get tired of hearing .... it well that and it makes me wonder when I'm going to ever be done. For example - if someone would've told me a year ago that I'd be a year older yet look totally different 77 pounds lighter and have 2 new jobs/professions - I would've laughed till I cried probably. I just want you to know that I wish the best for you and your adoption journey and I know that you are going to be a great parent. I'm sorry to hear that you didn't get the news that you were hoping for! MandyJo
I'm so sorry to hear about this latest temporary setback, but you will still be getting a referral alot sooner than if you had stayed with CHI. Right now, they are still waiting to be Hague-accredited, so I'm sure those PAPs in the Russia program are getting worried. Is that why you left CHI? I don't think you ever said. If you still have my e-mail you can answer by e-mail; otherwise go to my blog and click on more about me and you'll find an e-mail link.
So sorry to hear you missed your train. I am glad you are staying busy and not giving up. Take care!
you know what they say, trains always come back to the station. It will happen. Keep your chin up
i found waiting for a referral was like dating and trying to find "the right guy". it's when you least expect it - and you aren't looking - the right one comes along.
Hi Becky! I know it is so hard waiting for our referrals. I too have been feeling the roller coaster effect. One week, so excited it seems like my referral could be any second, and then the next, a snaffoo in paperwork, or slow downs, what have you... It's hard, but I'm going to remain optimistic. I know I'll have my little one here by the end of this year. Yours will be here too!! Maybe not in our time frame, but it will be the perfect time when it gets here. For now, if you need me to, I'll keep the faith for both of us. :)
Becky, I am so sorry to read your update today but you do sound pretty strong. I didn't expect a slow down with your new agency. On the positive side, I agree with some of the other comments, summer will be a much nicer month to travel. Who knows maybe the call will come sooner than later.
Thinking of you :)
Becky,
I can understand how you feel. You are so close to being there that you can probably taste it. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
P.S. I was thinking about trying to take a spa getaway. I say go for it if you can find one that is cheap. Remember this could be the last time you 2 travel like that alone for a long time.
Joy
You deserve a trip to a tropical location. Any way to squeeze one in? Maybe just a weekend cruise?
I am so sorry to hear this news. I am glad you were told something now and weren't left to keep wondering though. Your strength is so admirable. One great thing that comes from waiting such a long time for your child is that you will be so incredibly grateful for that little boy when he does come, and he will feel so much love from you each and every day, the love that has built up inside you for so long now that will just come pouring out. You are going to be an amazing mother to this sweet little boy, and he will be so blessed to have you. I know you feel like you've been hanging on by a thread at times, but hang in there and hold on tight. The rollercoaster ride is still moving and it WILL take you to your child. It just doesn't always work on OUR time. I'm always thinking of you and praying you will get that special call very soon.
Lots of love,
Adrienne
Becky, you need to plan a wonderful, tropical, NON-refundable vacation right away... because as soon as you do, as luck would have it, you're sure to get travel dates to Russia for the same week! Hmmm, maybe I should try that too ;0)
This waiting thing is the pits, but I really admire your positive attitude!
It took me 2 years to bring home my son, going through it sucked! It seemed like everyone else was getting referrals and court dates- not me. Now looking back I wouldn't have changed a thing because if I didn't have to wait I wouldn't have the wonderful little man I have now.
I am so sorry to hear of the slowdown. I absolutely know how you feel. We, too, are soooo close and yet have been waiting much longer than the agency anticipated. I know our little one is simply not ready for us yet. But it still sucks.
I'll pray that things start to move soon.
Big hugs to you!
I am so sorry! I'm sure you'll cathc the next train!
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