Alright, y'all... Tell me about naptime with your toddler.
Does he/she take naps? How long? From what time to what?
How do you get them down for the count?
I know Andrew is very overwhelmed, most likely over stimulated and just does NOT want to miss a thing around here. I tried to put him down today and he flailed and shrieked and made noises I think only dogs could hear. He eventually calmed down (an hour later) and fell asleep while I was rocking him. I thought I waited long enough for him to be out cold before I moved him but low and behold those little eyes popped open and I couldn't get him back to sleep to save my life. So. I gave up.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
And now, I'm going to bed. If I've learned anything in the past 3 days, one needs to sleep while the child sleeps otherwise the burnout comes quickly the next day. I also have realized that I might not ever get to shower alone or shave my legs again. :-) Oh and makeup? What's that? My hair will most likely be in a forever ponytail too. It's all worth it because this little guy could care less what I look like - as long as I give him yogurt, he's happy! :-)
Night!
Becky
16 comments:
First, let me say how glad I am that things are going well. Sounds like your adjustment is going pretty smoothly!
Now...naptime was not a HUGE issue for us, but we did have our moments. I would say that you're right...Andrew is really getting acclimated to his environment and not wanting to miss a thing. He doesn't want to sleep, because he knows he'll miss something!
I had some of the same issues with Iliya - rocking him and thinking he was asleep, only to have him wake up the minute I went to put him down. I decided to try something and it worked. He naps in our bed. I turn on a fan (white noise) and put him in the center of the bed, covered by an afghan. I sit with him (rub his hair or back, as long as it doesn't bother him) and he falls asleep. If he fights (rarely anymore), I tell him that I understand he doesn't want to go to sleep, but that it is time for resting and that's the only option for now. When he falls asleep, he is already laying down...so there is no disturbance related to laying him down. This way, he's more likely to stay asleep when I get off the bed.
And when he wakes up...he used to cry, and now all I hear is, "maaaamaaaaa...MaaaMaaaa....MAMA!" :) It's great.
Anyway, that was long, but I hope it helps!!
Nope, you won't get to shave your legs alone anymore and just wait until you are trying to do your business on the toilet and Andrew is trying to peek in the toilet, or when you stand up he looks inside and starts clapping and saying, "ta-da!" My personal favorite is when I get out of the shower and feel the slap of a little hand on my bare behind accompanied with a giggle. You gotta love them.
We had issues with Artem's naps in the beginning b/c he didn't want to miss anything. We have the white noise machine by Homemedics that is set for rain and I had to put full blackout curtains on his window. We read a book, rock, and then put him in his crib for naptime, same as bedtime so it is the same routine.
We have the luxury of having a crib that he can't crawl out of but I put Artem in his crib after rocking him and singing my only three songs I can do and then I sit down next to him on the floor but parallel and don't look at him. I look at the ground. In the beginning he would reach through the crib and touch me so I had to scoot away a little bit. Then I would hear "hi" and "woof woof". I ignored him and would scoot a little closer to the door every few minutes eventually leaving once he fell asleep. Once I put him in his crib I wouldn't talk to him. In the beginning he would stand up and shake the rail calling to me but I would quietly stand up and lay him back down without talking to him. That could take a half hour or 45 minutes in the beginning but it quickly shortened and now I might sit for 5 minutes and I leave.
Good luck with the transition and just do what I'm doing, growing my hair out so it all fits in the pony tail! :-) Hang in the girl!
Welcome to the ponytail club! Naps ...HAH. Kyle naps in daycare with no issue, on weekends...forget it. There are times when he is so tired in the afternoon, miserable and cranky..we will sit and watch a movie..or I'll put him in his room with a movie and a quiet toy and he rests, we take a walk or a drive. He usually falls asleep during the drive. Even yesterday after a full morning of Little Gym and playing, etc he would not nap. The flip side is sometimes he decides at 3pm that he is ready for a nap and crashes, and won't wake up until evening...then won't go to bed! They just don't want to miss a thing. You'll figure it out.
First -- Welcome Home! I haven't even had the chance to post and congratulate you. It seems like you guys were in Moscow forever. I am sure you are glad to be home.
Now, Naps were such a struggle for us and still are. Remember that you are still fighting jetlag -- all of you. I thought that I was fine a day or two after we got home but now looking back, I think it was more like a week before I had my wits to me.
With Nicolas, I think there was a fear that I was going to leave him. Andrew might be experiencing the same thing. One thing I found that worked, at least for a while. I would put Nicolas down and then sit outside his door. He could see me because the door was cracked. This seemed to satisfy him and he would go to sleep. I would take some papers to read or may laptop and do some work. The crying fits seemed to go away.
Of course, there are also days that I just do not want to fight with it, so we just go to the pool. Then about 6:30 he is so exhausted that he just falls asleep in my arms!
Welcome home! I am so glad to hear that almost everything is going so smoothly!
I know that Benjamin is younger than Andrew, but naps, and sleep, continue to be a struggle for us. It probably took us a good 12 weeks to get on a regular schedule, and that has been tweaked several times since. Andrew is dealing with jet lag, and the transition, so I would not worry too much about a solid schedule just yet. Follow his cues, and do what you have to to make him feel safe and secure. A lot of it is also him testing you to see if you will give up. Consitency and determination on your part will win in the end! Try to get into a routine- read the same books, sing the same songs, rock him in the same chair, etc, and eventually he will learn that those are the cues for nap/bed time. Also, we found with Benjamin that if he got OVER tired he was impossible to get down. So, really start paying attention to his tired cues, and try to catch him before he is really tired. You may find that you need to put him down for a nap earlier, and the same with bedtime.
We have LOVED following your journey, and even though you were in Russia and we were in Korea it has brought back so many memories! We are just so thrilled for all of you! Hang in there!
Love, Casey Larry and Benjamin
PS- I still don't shower or go to the bathroom by myself and Benjamin has been home for 7 months! I think my hairdrier is caked in dust too!
It took me a few weeks to get into a routine to shower, dress, do hair etc. I finally resorted to waking at 6 am to shower and then gradually Daniel started sleeping in longer and finally he started playing when he wokse up. I'm normally in the shower before he wakes now but if I do hear him I know he'll play so I quick jump in!
I would definitely establish a routine for bedtime and nap time that is the same. Daniel knows this routine by heart. I always ask him if he wants to read a book which is in his room. Then we turn on a little air purifer on the quiet setting and then he sits in my ap we cover with a blanket and read. After two books I sing and then rock.
I don't have to rock him all the way to sleep anymore but I like too. I just rock until he's ready to get into bed.
You could try a little music real soft when you leave the room too. We've been doing Bibe songs on CD and Daniel goes right to sleep to that.
I think the most important thing is to have the same routine for nap and bed time every day. It will get there. You need the break and so does Andrew!!
Hi Becky,
Naptime isn't a huge problem for us right now, but I know that it takes a while to get in to the groove that works for you- and it doesn't always work 100% of the time.
I know that whenever I have my own agenda- say- I've got to get him to sleep by such and such time, IT NEVER HAPPENS! I think he can feel my tension or something and fights the sleep harder.
My guy is slightly younger than Andrew, but after several days in Russia with him, we got him back on the bottle- first with fast flow nipples, now I almost always do slow. I don't think Andrew is too old for a bottle if you haven't tried that yet.
One thing that happened for us is trying to get him on his regular baby home schedule. We've got it modified to fit our lifestyle better now, but its within an hour or less of the schedule he had in Russia.
Try to give yourself time and space right now- just do one thing at a time don't try to rush yourself or him. Just keep trying to establish a routine and that will help all of you feel more secure, sucessful. You'll find out what works for you and for Andrew once the newness of everything wears off a little. God bless you!
ps. I've had the "GRUNGE MOM" look for the last 3 weeks. At first it was okay, but now its starting to make me feel MORE bedragled and depressed. My mom gave me some good advice- Make sure you still take care of YOU- it really helps keep your sanity and your mood brighter.
I haven't posted since you got home~ Happy Homecoming!
Naptime was always, let me repeat, always hard for us (with an occasional sweet few mixed in). He sounds like he does not want to sleep, period. It could be one or two or three things. He is either overstimulated- what do you do to wind down before naptime? do you eat a snack? do you sing or read books? He might need a 1/2 hour wind down period before you go to your routine. He might need to be "extra" prepped, saying that you are going to take a nap soon, Andrew will be getting tired soon, and repeat OVER AND OVER.... Then start the routine. Onto the second thing, hunger???? is he adjusting to new foods? and the last thing which is probably mixed into all of this is FEAR. He probably wants to control his environment and that means not sleeping. You might have to nap with him until he feels comfortable. I know that is not easy for everyone, just thoughts to help you out. Since he wakes upon you getting up, it sounds like a startle response, he should be able to stay asleep at his age - he is just scared, new places and new people and new toys and new everything. This is his third major transition so this has to hard for him. I have not read the other comments so I apologize if I'm repeating what anyone else said. This is a hard period for everyone. Don't judge yourself to hard, just try some new things and see what happens and you and Andrew will get your rythm soon!
I am all about routine. Find what works for you and stick with it. Sam (22 months) fought me everytime I tried to read, rock, sing and he would cry/scream when I would leave the room. However it only took a few weeks for him to get in the groove. Now (just 3 months home) he listens to several short stories and sings with me. He does not let me rock him. When he is ready he points to his bed, I put him in, give him his lovies, and leave - no tears. All I did was do the same thing everyday.
We also struggled the 2nd week home getting Kaden to sleep. He didn't want to miss anything. Now what we do is I bought a CD at Target that just plays lullaby's. I turn that on first. Then I give Kaden a bottle. After he is done with the bottle he normally wakes up. I then hold him tight. If Kaden moves a lot, like kicking his foot he will stay awake b/c he is trying to stimulate himself, so I don't let him do this by holding him tight against my chest. He calms down and then is normally out in a matter of minutes. We also had the issues of him waking up when we put him in his crib. What we found out was it was better to walk out of the room b/c he is tired. By me trying to get him back to sleep, I would be up for another hour with him b/c he wanted to play with me. But if I left he would talk a little then fall back to sleep 5 minutes later. Now he is staying asleep when I put him in his crib so for us that was just a phase. Hope these tips help. I know you have a lot of them! Also make sure the room is dark enough. We bought blinds that darkened the room b/c this helped too. Good luck! I hope you are getting enough sleep too!
Becky,
I have to shower at night. I either put my wet hair into a wadded ponytail and let it dry as I sleep, then it's super curly in the AM, or else I hot roll it (I KNOW... gasp) and then when I sleep on it, the curl has relaxed and it's normal looking by morning, i.e. not frizzy. I can only take the ponytail thing for so many days. If I go long enough looking like something the cat drug in, I start to get really cranky! :)
As for naps, since I am assuming Andrew isn't in a crib, I would suggest rocking him until he starts to get droopy eyes, then lay him in his bed and lay beside him or on the floor next to the bed. It's hard. We just had to move Meg back to a crib tonight because she had gotten to the point where I couldn't get her to nap. I do use white noise, I always have black out shades on every child's window. I am a "sleep nazi" and all my kids have been great sleepers and by golly, she's not going to break my streak now! :) Good luck with it though, all my kiddos gave up their naps around age three, so that might be what's happening to Andrew. For sure by 4, none of them were napping anymore. But I found at 3, sometimes a 30 minute nap was plenty. Sorry!
Ah, the learning process. Isn't it fun to try to figure out what works best for your child? :o) I don't know that I have much advice. We put our daughter to bed after singing/rocking and then let her listen to her Russian lullaby CD. She is usually asleep once it is over. Our son is the same as Andrew...so good luck. He only naps about an hour and fight you to go down and wakes with the slightest of noise. Dark rooms (with a night light) work best for us. We also usually lay down with him until he is asleep.
I loved your previous post and enjoyed all the photos. The last water picture was too cute. I'm so glad you are enjoying your time at home. It goes quickly so cherish every moment!
With each of my kids, naps became more of a struggle once they hit 2 to 2.5 years old. They stopped napping completely by age 3. It may be a combination of all the excitement and his developmental need for sleep at this time.
Congratulations and good luck with this wonderful new adventure!!!
Lots of good suggestions here. One thing I recommend is if you have made a final determination on daycare then find out what they will do. It will help make the transition easier.
When Mateo had reverted back to bad nighttime sleeping habits (mostly waking at night) we went through a process of getting him when he cried and laying him down. Do not pick him up and hold him. Just lay him down and maybe rub his back then leave. Chances are he will cry. Start with 10 minutes. If he is still crying do it again. This time wait 15 minutes. Repeat with 20 minutes. Continue at 20 minutes until he's down for the count. It will be a few rough nights, but in the end he will learn to put himself to sleep which is what you need for him to do both at night and at nap time.
And they regress periodically too so be prepared for that. Mateo is waking up again at night although not as bad as before. I think its because he is getting his last set of molars in so hopefully it won't last. Miss you lots! Can't wait to see you and meet Andrew.
Oh, I am always so late to leave comments! As many comments said, things get better with time, you just have to be consistent with the same routine. With Diego, I start giving his snack 30 minutes before the nap, and once he is done, we go to his room. I read that sometimes it works for kids that the parents "tell" them exactly what will happen. So, as we walk to his room I am telling him that "I will change his diaper, turn on his humidifier, turn on his fan, turn on his sleepy music and then you will rest". At the beginning I carried him and hold him until he was out, otherwise he would wake up. He hardly lets me sit on the rocking chair, but sometimes I try to rock him. Lately I just carry him for a little bit and the points the crib, so I lay him down. I stay next to the crib either rubbing his back or tummy or just looking at him. If he starts talking and wanting to play and move a step back and close my eyes, so he knows he has to chill and that I won't play. Now, after 4 months it's finally not a struggle. Give him sometime and don't stress out.
room darkening shade did the trick for us.
congratulations to all of you.
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